We’ve all been there. He’s the total package. He has a Ford Fusion, both eyes, and a really, really long restraining order from the local Safeway. You met in a tunnel, and now he’s your everything. He’s not a bad influence, per se, but the entropy of the universe is definitely more chaotic when he’s around. He’s the sort of person to sweep you off your feet but he does it with a spin kick. It would be nice if your parents liked him. It might even be nice if they disliked him. But they invite him...
By Justin Case, Pan Salesman
Get on down to Justin Case’s Pan Warehouse today! There’s no reason why you can’t leave the house, because the pannnnnn-demic is only here at Justin Case’s Pan Warehouse! Right now many Americans are stuck at home with their old, scratched worn out pans and they just can’t stand it! It’s a national emergency! Our world today has gone crazy, crazy for our insanely low prices on pans of all shapes and sizes! We have frying pans, cast iron pans, skillets, sauciettes, woks, juju pans, pan flutes, Wilem Dafoe’s...