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IN HONOR OF LONGTIME NEW YORK POST HEAD PUNMASTER “BIG STEVE” LEWIS

This week veteran punmaster Big Steve Lewis announced his retirement from the New York Post. His one-hundred and sixty-four year stint as...

Daft Punk Broke Up? I Didn’t Even Know They Were Dating!

By your dad Hey kiddo, your mom just told me that your favorite french robot couple broke up and...

Phishrap Live?! Low Brow Comedy Paper’s Humiliating Hack Moment

This week, the prominent satirical paper and hang out spot for Del Taco™ enthusiasts, Fishrap Live!, was hacked and humiliated, sending ripples...

Classes to Audit Spring 2021

Well here we are again, a new quarter, so much potential. Since you're undoubtedly looking for another Zoom commitment to add to...

Royal exposé: Prince Phillip died years ago

Friday, the 9th of April, 2021 I cannot bear the guilt any longer. God save the Queen, for it is too late for her lover. Ye ol’ Prince Phillip has been dead since the eve of the second of March in the year two-thousand and ten. It all started back in 2010 when all of us lads were having a family movie night at the duchess’s screening room. Prince Will’m really wanted to watch “Princess Protection Program” but Prince Phil was fightin to watch “Weekend at Bernie’s.” The two of ‘em...
Formerly relevant quiz repository and Lovecraftian incubus that generates clickbait and outrage Buzzfeed released another quiz, this time asking readers to fill out some questions to determine which member of the classic Staten Island hip-hop outfit they were most similar to. Using similar technology as other Buzzfeed quizzes that filters astrological sign information and opinions about breakfast through a NASA supercomputer to determine a scientifically accurate result, this quiz startled many with its results. The supercomputer has determined that if you are taking Buzzfeed quizzes you probably “suck ass”, are an annoying young person...

Biden Bans Drilling, Pounding, Smashing on Federal Land

“Y’all nasty,” said a newly inaugurated President Biden moments after taking office in his first address to the nation. “You think I...

Ask Terry: What do I do when my heart says yes but the tense, crescendoing music in the background says no?

We’ve all been there. He’s the total package. He has a Ford Fusion, both eyes, and a really, really long restraining order...

Invest in FLX NOW!

Okay, we all kinda pretend to know and care about what went down recently on the popular internet forum for all-knowing verified...

Calling out All the Wildlife Who Have Wronged Me on Campus

Now that I’m a safe distance away in an undisclosed location, I feel it is high time I dredge up just a...

Oh Honey…

Fight Night: Young Rock vs. Young Sheldon

The recent announcement of “Dwayne” The Rock “Johnson's” biopic Young Rock and launch of his own streaming service, Rock Plus has sent...