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I, like most mentally ill jews obsessed with comedy, spend my nights anxiously awaiting sleep pretending to be on a 70s NBC stage, covered in cigarette ash, being interviewed for late night news. Also, like most mentally ill young jews, I found Fran Lebowitz and watched her Netflix special the day it came out. I have entertained the delusion of morphing into her through nothing but my own sheer willpower, mastery of illusion and desire to escape reality.  Since the dawn of time, the FunnyFolk sat around a table, talked, and the plebians ate...
"Is there a way to turn off other people's videos?"

Bill Gates Comes Clean About Scandalous Affair with Jeff Bezos

Though Bill and Melinda Gates just announced their divorce this month, it seems that this decision was not as sudden as the...

Cancel Culture Is Killing Our Princesses

by A Fan of the ORIGINAL Grimm Brothers Tales, Who Is Not In The Pocket Of Big Fairy c1697

IN HONOR OF LONGTIME NEW YORK POST HEAD PUNMASTER “BIG STEVE” LEWIS

This week veteran punmaster Big Steve Lewis announced his retirement from the New York Post. His one-hundred and sixty-four year stint as...

Phishrap Live?! Low Brow Comedy Paper’s Humiliating Hack Moment

This week, the prominent satirical paper and hang out spot for Del Taco™ enthusiasts, Fishrap Live!, was hacked and humiliated, sending ripples throughout the internet community. Leaks from the University of California indicate that FRL was the first organization, entity, living creature, or sentient being to fall for their devious and extremely costly phishing operation. This phishing operation preys upon the hopes of college students of finding a stable or well-paying job after throwing fistfuls of 100 dollar bills to the University of California for 4 years, through the use of fake emails from ingratiating employers. Below...

Daft Punk Broke Up? I Didn’t Even Know They Were Dating!

By your dad Hey kiddo, your mom just told me that your favorite french robot couple broke up and that you’re pretty torn up about it. Listen, this is all pretty new to me, you know, robots dating other robots, and stuff like that. Back in my day, it was all about dudes with long hair and rockin attitudes and the thought of robot dating never even passed my mind. But no matter what, know that your mother and I still love you, so you can tell us anything. You know, I myself have...

Classes to Audit Spring 2021

Well here we are again, a new quarter, so much potential. Since you're undoubtedly looking for another Zoom commitment to add to...

Royal exposé: Prince Phillip died years ago

Friday, the 9th of April, 2021 I cannot bear the guilt any longer. God save the Queen, for it...

BUZZFEED RELEASES NEW “WHICH WU-TANG CLAN MEMBER ARE YOU QUIZ”

Formerly relevant quiz repository and Lovecraftian incubus that generates clickbait and outrage Buzzfeed released another quiz, this time asking readers to fill...

Biden Bans Drilling, Pounding, Smashing on Federal Land

“Y’all nasty,” said a newly inaugurated President Biden moments after taking office in his first address to the nation. “You think I...

Ask Terry: What do I do when my heart says yes but the tense, crescendoing music in the background says no?

We’ve all been there. He’s the total package. He has a Ford Fusion, both eyes, and a really, really long restraining order...

Invest in FLX NOW!

Okay, we all kinda pretend to know and care about what went down recently on the popular internet forum for all-knowing verified...