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Oh boy slap an amendment on your Christmas lists mothersluggers, cause we got the hottest gift of the Holiday season right here at Fish Rap. Introducing Slugopoly, the game which for copyright reasons is not Monopoly, but if don’t tell anyone, is exactly like Monopoly, and is the perfect game for your UCSC student, acceptee, TA, alumnus, drug dealer, professor, drug dealer/professor; anyone can play this bad boy, baby! Oh yeah look at that board. We got Loop Buses, we got the bookstore, we got extra expensive parking, Spliff Cliff, Porter Squiggle, we got...
"Is there a way to turn off other people's videos?"

Stephen Breyer Already Made Merch in Anticipation of Becoming Next Big Feminist Icon

“So what? You’re telling me that Kagan and Sotomayor just get to skip the line for the next feminist icon because they’re...

You Won’t Believe What These Celebrities Look Like Now (#4 Will Cause a Brain Aneurysm)

Celebrities, we love 'em. They're like regular people but better and with more money, but sometimes like us normal losers celebrities will...

New Orleans Free-Jazz Funeral Enters Eighteenth Hour

New Orleans, the city known for originating Jazz music, originally called either Jass or Jizm (this is true) is also known for...

Declassified Documents Reveal Former President Gerald Ford was “Extremely Hung”

Newly leaked FBI documents containing graphic photographs, internal memos, and eye witness accounts chronicle a decades-long cover up of President Gerald Ford’s...

The Body Book

Meet the Spooky-AF Ghosts of UCSC

UC Santa Cruz rests high amongst the fog-wrapped conifers of coastal California, and has done so for some 55 years. In its long history, many souls have settled within its borders, trapped within by the school’s labyrinth of paths and the fact that the Metro Bus only comes through once an hour. Encounters with unexplained entities, creatures, and phenomena have rattled the bones and tingled the spines of UCSC students for decades, and tales of the supernatural waft through the misty air like stank weed at a frat bash. Many believe that the school’s supernatural suffusion comes...

Democrats Introduce “Straight Panic Defense” to “Get Even”

In response to the homophobic “Gay and Transgender Panic Defense” that allows straight men to get away with murder for being hit...

FRL! Spam Mail

Since everything seems to be online lately, we here at FRL! have been making a lot of new friends online! Oh boy...
Congratulations! You’re expecting a little bundle of joy. And to fit your unique specific spiderweb design of a child, you need a name that’ll stump Starbucks baristas the world over. Not to worry—the Internet, of course, has got you covered. But hold on: what are you going to do when people ask you about their name? You can’t just say there’s no meaning, even though that’s obviously the case. You can’t admit to people that, despite cultures worldwide and across time spending months and even years choosing the most auspicious children’s names, you’ve decided...

FRL! Investigates: Covid Self-Tester Administrators

Recently, an unnamed and unpaid intern at FRL! was sent to interview one of the self-test administrators on campus after multiple reports...

New Three-State Solution Promising Lead in Middle East Peace

Israel and Palestine, they really are the Mark and Donny Wahlberg of the Middle East. Two very macho brothers that just can't...

Nurse Getting Real Fucking Tired of COVID Patient With Autoerotic Asphyxiation Fetish

“God fucking damn it George,” said St. Elmo resident nurse Brets Andrets for what must be the god fucking damn zillionth time...

Strapped for Cash, UCSC Initiates Giving Day Stage 2: Taking Day

By all measures, Giving Day 2020 was a rousing success. That is, all measurements except those of the UC Santa Cruz Administration,...

BREAKING: Old Man Wins Election

While many analysts predicted that it could take days or even hours to determine the outcome of the 2020 election, FRL is...

In A Radical Move, Trader Joe’s Endorses Joe Biden

 In a historic move, popular grocery store chain Trader Joe’s changes its name to Trader Joe Biden in anticipation of the upcoming...