Bill Gates Comes Clean About Scandalous Affair with Jeff Bezos

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Though Bill and Melinda Gates just announced their divorce this month, it seems that this decision was not as sudden as the public may believe. A series of raunchy texts between Gates and the CEO of Amazon, Jeff Bezos were leaked this week that shed light on the recent divorces of these two billionaires. Bill Gates agreed to tell Fishrap Live the details and clear the air on this scandal.

“Melinda and I had been going through a rough patch as far back as 2019. At the time, we were separated and I was looking for a connection,” Gates clarified. “I downloaded this new app I had heard of from a friend called Loaded Lovers. The app only allows the wealthiest people in the world to join and right now the only users have been me, Jeff, and Mark [Zuckerberg].”

Although this was the first time Bezos and Gates had initiated a romantic relationship, this was not the first time they had been on each other’s minds. “I first remember becoming interested in Jeff when I saw those naughty messages he sent to his mistress.” Bill Gates bit his lip after he said this (which made our interviewer very uncomfortable). “The one that really stuck with me was ‘I love you, alive girl. I will show you with my body, and my lips and my eyes, very soon.’ It just gave me goosebumps! I wanted to be his alive girl.”

We asked what it was about Jeff Bezos that made Bill Gates so attracted to him. Gates blushed. “I mean all that storage in one computer- I mean man! I love the way he whirrs when he’s thinking and he’s so cute when he powers down for the night! He also has such a way with words. Only one other person has ever talked to me like that.” When asked if this person was his ex-wife, Melinda, Gates clarified that he had actually been thinking about Cleverbot. 

“Our interests are really aligned. We’re both successful, rich, and uninterested in socializing with proletariats. We take long walks on the beaches near our vacation homes, we discuss new technology, and I help him cope with the fact that he’ll never be able to comprehend human emotion. We’re basically manufactured for each other! He’s certainly no Apple product!” Gates let out a tense laugh. 

“It’s my pleasure to introduce my new romantic investment in Jeff Bezos. He’s such a tender machine- I mean man. Not that this has anything to do with my relationship, but I once called AI technology ‘promising and dangerous.’ Well, I want to be dangerous.” On that sweet note, here are some highlights of the steamy texts from Jeff Bezos to Bill Gates.