dad please love me

Dear Corporate Boneheads – Snacking is not a Lifestyle

I’m sick and tired of these aesthetically packaged snack foods with their out-of-touch corporate blurbs on the back: “You take snacking seriously....
me (hopefully soon)

When Will The Rock Come to Save Me?

Everything I’ve been taught has led me to believe that when I’m in danger, The Rock will show up to save me....

Shitting is Hard

Dorms are all fun or whatever, but MAN, finding the right time to poop while living in them is grueling. You gotta...

Pimple Poem

From whence do you come, dear pimple?  Are you a manifestation of a dirty soul, festering...

1980s Movies Are Bullshit

by Enraged Cocaine Dealer My name is Ferdinand Silverio and I don’t appreciate my noble profession of cocaine merchant...