UC Santa Cruz rests high amongst the fog-wrapped conifers of coastal California, and has done so for some 55 years. In its long history, many souls have settled within its borders, trapped within by the school’s labyrinth of paths and the fact that the Metro Bus only comes through once an hour. Encounters with unexplained entities, creatures, and phenomena have rattled the bones and tingled the spines of UCSC students for decades, and tales of the supernatural waft through the misty air like stank weed at a frat bash. Many believe that the school’s supernatural suffusion comes from its position atop a conduit to the underworld, known locally as the Porter to Hell, while others say it’s more of a Christmas Carol situation for the UC Regents. Whatever the cause, UCSC remains one spooky scary school-eton, so let’s get a-ghost-hunting and meet some of UCSC’s otherworldly residents from the other side.
Megan With an H
Megan with an H met her untimely end after accidentally puff puff puff passing during a puff puff pass session on National Marijuana Day, 1994. She promptly puff puff passed away. Some say that if you enter the woods at night you can still hear her lighting up a massive spliff of that bomb kush in the darkness.
Darren
Who’s that crashing about in your apartment late at night? Is it your blind-drunk roommate on a mission to stumble into every single wall in your house? No, it’s the ghost of Darren, the Eternal English Major. Darren has been in the fifth year of his major program since 2003. He just needs a couple more credits and his SI GE to get his diploma but on the other hand he’s thinking of minoring in environmental studies but he’ll see. Coincidentally, Darren also smokes ungodly amounts of the reef leaf.
That One Person In Your Group Project
It is a little known fact that statistically one person in every group project is technically a ghost. It’s usually the person taking a whole lot of credit for doing a whole lot of nothing. This may sound surprising at first, and you may never have noticed your ghoulish group member, but just look at the evidence:
- They’re usually, like dead people, ‘late’
- They never materialize when you expect them to be there
- They moan a whole lot
- They have unfinished business, usually in the form of Powerpoint Slides
- Adults don’t believe in them
Spooky right? And if you don’t believe your group doesn’t have one of these spirits lurking within its borders, you might want to consult a doctor. Or a priest.
George Blumenthal
Not actually a ghost, because not actually dead. He just sorta hangs around and we can’t get him to leave. George can be heard asking students if they have any ‘yerbs and herbs’ they can share with him, but students are advised not to approach, as this only makes him more powerful.
“Clake Barnaby”
Not his real name. He’s an actor, and he knows it’s a dumbass name but he really needs to stand out for some reason. Either way, Clake died when he was cast in the role of the Ghost of Christmas Present for a local production of A Christmas Carol. Clake, in his never-ending insufferableness, decided to take the method acting route, but like most method actors, he really took it too far. Now he’s a ghost. He is said to haunt the Porter Dining Hall piano, asking people if they want to accompany him on some show tunes.
