In a stunning marketing move, M&M’s have revealed that after they release a new “Raisin Flavored M&M,” consumers everywhere can expect a trail mix featuring a motley group of various chocolate covered yummies. This new Trail Mix&Mix&M will feature a robust variety of nuts, berries, and M&M’s, all enrobed in a decadent chocolate spread that will surely leave the diehard M&M fanbase’s collective mouths watering.
The new flavor and announcement of a fully-chocolate covered trail mix was met with overwhelmingly positive remarks: “It was really the next logical step in the progression of the M&M expansion campaign,” remarked lifelong M&M fan, Mark Mitchell; “The other night I was lying in my M&M-wrapper-strewn-bed, listening to my heart beat ever faster thinking to myself: where does the franchise go next after unveiling jalapeño and coconut flavored M&M’s last fiscal year?” The hype has certainly begun to spread throughout the community: “I had heard rumblings about the new flavor being raisin and I nearly lost it,” said Mike Misnowski. “I was so desperate for a new sensation, a new collectible flavor to add to my repertoire, and with this exciting news, I can say that my taste buds have a new lease on life.”
Some were less enthused at the prospect of a raisin chocolate M&M: “It’s honestly disrespectful,” snarled Trevor Williams; “I mean he’s put out what, like 6 critically acclaimed studio albums, has gone platinum hella times and these idiots are still calling him an old man who steals rap from black people? Call him whatever you want but Eminem is not a chocolate covered raisin.”
The new trail mix is rumored to contain a variety of trail mix steadfasts, such as: almonds, peanuts, cashews, raisins, craisins, M&M’s, and even new additions such as kombucha and granola, which is sure to drive market demand higher in the nosering-and-married-at-26 demographic. In an attempt to address the plummet in stocks since the sexy green M&M commercial was pulled from cable, M&M announced at Candy Con a new way for fans to experience the pleasures of M&M’s, with the unveiling of a fully licensed adult kink website entitled BDSM&MTM&M, which is sure to put the “covered” in chocolate covered nuts.