Shoobie Doobie! It’s me! Adams Sandler, aka hotshot to the stars (as my wife calls me). I bet your saying to yourself right about now, “what the heck? #1 most talented actress in the universe adam “JD” salndler is writing letter to me???” Woah there pal, hold onto your horses, you dont know how newspaper works? This is for a lot of other bozos than just you, check yourself.
I’m not one to ramble so ill get right to the meat and cranberries. Theres a spicy new movie coming out, and ill give you a pretty penny to guess the lead actress. Made your guess? Its me, duh, the sandman himself. What about the other actors in the movie? GOTCHA, that was a trick question, nobody cares about them. The movie is horror movie name of hubie haloween, but WARNING: hold on to your popcorns because youre gonna be so scared out of your TROUSERS youll probably want a refund.
Here is picture of ME, adams L. salnder dressed as wearwolf, sitting next to one of the background guys. Im my oppinion they gave that guy way too many lines for an extra but whatever, not my fault if movie sucks. Anyway, if your used to wearwolf movies being all fun and games, get ready for a big surprise because this might be scariest movie ever made. I havent even seen it yet but i get nightmares just THINKING about those spooky critters taking a bite out of me.
My dipshit manager ted klipner told me we gotta wait a whole darn year before putting this puppy in theateres even though we already filmed it, reason of my new hit movie uncut gems just came out. Excuse me… What?!?? They shuoulda released the movies at same time, then theateres could do my idea: “adams sadnler night”, where all the boys and ladies come enjoy a steaming hot plate of sandler all night long. You can enjoy my favorite treat, tic tacs, sing the channukah song, and watch the two best movies ever made, back to fucking back. now THAT sounds like a recipie for sucess. On the way out, you can buy some bluray dvds of my 2005 movie “big daddy”, cuz i got a BUNCH of those suckers laying around in my house and i keep tripping on em when i wake up to take a shit at night.
Peace out, Adams “B-money” Sandlner, movie star