WORLD RELIGIONS REVEALED BY DISNEY TO BE PHASE ONE OF THE “SPIRITUALITY EXPANDED UNIVERSE”

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Theology scholars and archeologists recently discovered a press release from CEO of Disney Bob Iger announcing another one of the company’s ambitious cinematic crossovers. 

After the success of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and of Disney’s live-action remakes, which have been declared a success because none of the film prints spontaneously combusted resulting in massive fires at theaters, Disney has announced phase one of what they’re describing as “the Spirituality Expanded Universe” is complete.

“We’re very excited at the fan response to our new properties Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Islam and Buddhism which have far exceeded marketing projections. But, we’re excited to announce coming in Q4 of 2020, our latest all-star team up where all your favorite characters from all the religions you’ve come to know and love get to team up!” 

Reception to the reveal among religious leaders has been mixed. The innovative method of intertwining storytelling, including easter-eggs in the form of actual easter eggs, character crossovers like Moses and Buddha entering multiple religious canons at once, while the general inconsistency of tone has been criticized and the announcement that “The Holy Land Experience,” a theme park based on one of Disney’s  most popular properties “Christianity,” 

will be incorporated into Disneyland has been negatively received. 

Film director Martin Scorsese who has recently been critical of “expanded universes” in cinema, citing them as a death knell for creativity in the medium was reportedly miffed upon learning his critically acclaimed films “The Last Temptation of Christ” and “Catholic Guilt: The Movie” were actually ploys by Disney all along. Martin Scorsese has reportedly announced religion will no longer feature in his films in favor of growling.

Disney CEO Bob Iger has stated that while “fun rivalries between fanbases like the whole Protestant-Catholic schism are always welcomed, the Disney Corporation wishes to dissuade further bloody religious crusades from happening.”