I spoke recently with the shocked survivors of a horrifying experience, one of shock and horror and buses. Comp Sci Major and local urban legend Brandon McChandler says that it was shortly after he got on what some are calling the Santa Cruz Metro Bus from Hell that he began to notice that something wasn’t quite right. “People started whispering quietly and a few people were tugging vigorously at those cables on the sides”. Brandon says he didn’t pay much attention at first. “Someone was like ‘we have to stop the bus’ but I ignored them because I was gonna get from Crown to 9/10 if it killed me goddammit.” However, as multiple stops came and went, Brandon says he started to grow a little concerned. “I didn’t know what was going on,” says Art History Major Tupac Shakira, “but all of a sudden the display at the front of the bus started glitching and then the voice announcer said ‘Stop Denied’ in this menacing tone. I was terrified. We all were.
“I dunno, I wasn’t paying attention to what she was saying or anything,” comments Brandon “cause honestly like she’s so hot I got distracted. My ‘To Do’ list is just her, Siri, and the unexpected item in the bagging area lady. And then her again.” At this point, Brandon says, “I was like hey the bus driver isn’t there anymore, and the bus is steering itself, like what?”
“We were speeding along streets and over sidewalks. The bus was going full speed and it wasn’t stopping,” says Geology Major Nathanos Glover, “it was literally possessed.”
“No one knew what to do,” Brandon later DMed me on Instagram, “We all thought we were gonna die. Anyway Gennifer it’s so random that I found you again, we should totally hang out sometime haha.” Unfortunately, I was not able to reach Brandon for any further comment.
Our slugs’ terrifying ride only ended when ‘Beelzebus’ careened into the metro center. Most people on board still made sure to thank the bus as they left. Santa Cruz Metro released a statement on the matter, confirming that the bus would be placed on a 3-day paid leave.