FOOTBALL!

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Those randy footballsmen! They sure love bowls! Super Bowls! I love to football! We consulted a passionate 49ers fan and a guy we found at a 1986 film convention to help us predict who will take home the SuperBowl (and an unlimited supply of kitchenware) Lets get started!

I’ve never heard of the old footy before, but I just love the idea that men can get together and just be friends in a constructive and loving way. 

The way these guys hug each other so quickly and forcefully. I love it. Just love it.

Football is bloodsport between men of character and God. Only warriors will triumph in this tumultuous test of wills and mettle. 

I think the Chiefs from Kansas City, Kansas are going to win the Rose Bowl and the Super Bowl, after dominating the Rice Bowl and Cereal Bowl against those wily boys the Tennessee Town Titans from Tennessee. Those chiefs got the best players: Lando, Roger, Cleveland, Sturgloo, and Kyle Hugechick. 

Jimmy Garropolo has been stereotyped as a game manager orchestrating the genius of Shanahan’s creative playcalling. However, Garropolo has consistently come up clutch when it’s counted most. The 49ers will lean on a balanced offense and a stifling secondary to overcome the Chiefs 27-24. 

Hey man, screw Janeane Garofalo. She hasn’t been in anything since the Ben Stiller Show. Who are the 49ers gonna call next, Andy Dick!? The Chiefs best chance is with Christian Okoye. He’ll dominate George Kibble at the line and kick Kyle Hugechick on his huge ass. But more than the game, I’m excited for the kick-ass halftime show. Gimme those Black Eyed Peas or those Plain White Ts. Just love them.

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