Larive: All the Riches in the World Could Not Give Grad Students the Opulence of Life at UC Riverside

Pictured: The UC Riverside Equivalent of a Small Triple #cola

Believe me, dear students, for I have walked among the phantasmal palaces and gilded palazzos of the lost city known as UC Riverside, and I know that to seek such unbridled wealth is naught but folly. It was only but months ago, but it feels a lifetime away when I strolled the streets littered with golden chalkboards and scantrons encrusted with rubies. And hence since I was whisked from that opulent place, I find my mind ever straying to trying to find it once more. Many have tried in vain to make it to UC Riverside to plunder its great wealth, to perhaps offset their super fucking expensive rent or pay for food, but I am afraid none has ever made it, as none have ever returned from the god forsaken land that shrouds UC Riverside in a fog ever hidden from the outside world.

We can dream of such a world were it is possible to live with the untold riches of UC Riverside, but of late I fear that tales of its wealth beyond comprehension are only fairy-tales and half-truths as to my knowledge, such affluence does not exist in this earthly realm.