Dude watching Stranger Things on his Phone at the Gym “Almost Done” with Benchpress

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According to multiple sources, some dude has reportedly been hogging the benchpress at OPERS gym for the past 20 minutes, and he doesn’t appear to be exercising. 

“He told me he was ‘just taking a break between sets,’ but that was 10 minutes ago, and he’s still staring at his phone,” griped gymgoer Maya Lopez. When another student trying to use the benchpress approached him, he reportedly responded without looking up, “uh, almost done with this episode, uh I mean set or whatever,” then loudly announced, “does anyone have an iPhone 6 charger?”

This dude is not fooling anybody, even though he starts panting whenever someone walks close to him. He apparently has also never heard of headphones, and is constantly yelling out mid-series predictions, such as “Barb is totes dead,” “bro, I bet eleven is the Demogorgon,” and other commentary like “Mike, you idiot!”, “damn what a cliffhanger!”, and “Oh shit is that Howie Mandel?”

OPERS staff are well aware of the issue. “This is getting completely out of hand­—he’s only on season 1 episode 6, the one where Joyce and Hopper learn the truth about the lab’s experiments,” explained OPERS manager Amanda Spruce. 

“What more can I say? Lucas finds out that his compass is pointing right at Hawkins Laboratory too, so he bikes there to find a gate to the upsidedown. But something sinister is waiting for him. Anyway, he meets up with the rest of the gang to make a plan, but Eleven is nowhere to be found, and everything falls apart when it’s revealed that Nancy betrayed Steve by sleeping with Jonathan. What matters most is that there are other students who want to use that benchpress. God I hope nobody gives him an iPhone charger.”

If it wasn’t bad enough, this dude brought a bowl of Reeses Puffs and milk which keeps spilling all over the floor because he doesn’t look away from his screen when he tries to take a bite.