Goodwill Officially Becomes Outlet Strictly for Half-Marathon Finisher T-Shirts

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Anyone who shops at thrift stores understand the gamble that is involved. You will always end up sacrificing time for threaded glory. Recently, I have noticed that every t-shirt section is made up entirely of half-marathon participation prizes. This means that there are people out there who trained for months, woke up at 5 a.m., packed their running fanny pack with off-brand energy goo, ran 13.1 fucking miles, and for some fucked reason didn’t keep their shirt. That shirt technically cost $200 in entry fees and they thought someone else would want it?? As if anyone would want to rock someone else’s participant shirt. And who would want to pose as a HALF-marathon finisher. I can maybe see it being worn ironically but… Anyway, Goodwill caught on and decided to do everyone a favor and publicize what their stock was before folks wasted hours flipping through sweat stained shirt.