Before You Carve Into The Turkey This Year, Remember These Facts:
- On average, it is estimated that 100% of turkeys die.
- The turkey’s closest relative is the ostrich.
- Ostrich meat does not taste like turkey meat.
- George Washingmachine ate the first turkey on Thanksgiving in 1621.
- Next week is my mom’s birthday and I’m not sure what to get her.
- If a turkey was as big as a human and you were as big as a turkey, it would eat you too (So I guess it’s fair)
- We should restore nomadism within the Mid-Western USA.
- Turkey meat is full of melatonin and trace amounts of CBD. Do not operate heavy machinery after consuming more than 3 pounds or more of turkey meat
- Pumpkin Pie was invented in 1898 by famous philosopher and conartist Martha Stewart
- Cranberry Sauce isn’t actually made of cranberryies, but is actually composed of 20% the blood of those who are ungrateful dweebs who do not cherish what they’ve been given in their life and 80% high fructose corn syrup
- Turkey and Ostrich meat are only safe to eat up to 2 days after being cooked according to my great grand papa
